what happened in mexico, or, why those nearest and dearest to me should probably avoid me until the curse wears off

Good lord. I rilly rilly rilly need to write a paper right this very minute, but first I need to write this down before I forget it. My mom and my sister and I spent a week in Mexico (spring break! woot!), which was lovely, until these three things happened:
Friday evening, my sister and I went for massages. When we came in, we heard them say something about one of the masseuses not feeling well, but we assumed that meant that they were having a hard time trying to work around her not being able to work, not that she was going to be massaging someone, for instance, me. So, I'm lying there in my Happy Place, and all of a sudden, crash, my masseuse is on the floor, having just passed out. So, they don't speak the greatest English, and I speak no Spanish, and they are trying to apologize, and holy crap, don't apologize, she just fainted! Is she OK? Um, maybe. We're still not really sure. And now I feel horribly guilty, even though it's not my fault that my masseuse fainted. So, moving on...
Friday night, after the massage incident, we went out to dinner. Where the woman at the table next to us choked, passed out, turned gray, and almost died, until the guy sitting at a table across the room realized what was going on and raced across the room to do the heimlich. Her family didn't seem to realize that she was choking, or passing out, or anything, so I thought she must be prone to passing out, or maybe she was having a stroke, who knows what. But her family had no idea what to do, and to make it worse, they spoke neither English nor Spanish -- but who doesn't know the universal "I'm choking" sign, or the heimlich? Weirdest, most surreal experience ever. I can't really even describe it. We skipped dessert, got the check, and wandered on back to our hotel room to spend our last night as we had spent all the others, falling asleep nice and early.
Saturday, we got on the plane, and all was well (other than a slight delay, of course), until we heard the dreaded announcement for the on-board medical personnel to report to the seat a few rows ahead of us, where a woman was fainting, or something. And then there was another medical emergency at the back of the plane -- something to do with a girl's leg, I don't know what. There were two doctors on board, so they didn't have the divert the plane or anything, but really? Two medical emergencies? WTF?

I mean, I realize that none of these things happened to me, but isn't it extremely weird, and possibly portentous, that they all happened around me in such a short period of time? What on earth is the universe trying to tell me?